Blue Heart

        I walked absentmindedly along the cobblestone. Love had been so cruel to me I half expected to hear the tinkle of the shattered pieces of my heart clinking around in my chest. Instead my ears picked up the noise of cars as they whizzed by me on the street. The sound mocked me for it reminded me of the waves which crash along a shoreline.

        Our last trip together was to the beach. We walked hand in hand along the coast on our final night there. Aside from the moon which occasionally peeked out from behind clouds it was just us alone in the darkness. We hadn’t needed to see each other. The touch of warm skin as our hands pressed into each other’s was enough. It let us know we were together. Two souls which in the moment existed as one. We seemed so inseparable and so invincible that night. 

       Now six months later I walked this street by my lonesome. Love was nothing but a memory which receded faster than those waves had receded from the beach we were once on. My heart a black chasm deeper and darker than the ocean was that night. 

        I let out a heavy sight as I forced my mind back to the present surroundings. I glanced up and noticed a bookstore. One of those relics from an era before Amazon which you could still come across on quaint streets, such as one I found myself taking a stroll along in a vain attempt to ease my pain. I thought perhaps inside such a place awaited a story to distract my thoughts. A twenty minute respite seemed like a welcomed oasis in the vacant desert I found myself in. 

       Without too much hope I entered the establishment. The place was small and seemed claustrophobic with books cluttering every corner. It gave the impression of someone’s yard sale, rather than a business. The few people who browsed tried to avoid bumping into one another. I reluctantly joined the fray.

       As I scanned the titles nothing really jumped out to my weary mind. I knew I didn’t want romance, wanted that less than I wanted a root canal. The sci-fi seemed unimportant and repelled me in some peculiar way. I had usually been a fan of thrillers and horror but somehow it seemed heavy and unappetizing in the moment. As I was about to leave, my eyes landed on a small plain navy colored book with silver letters etched onto the spine. They spelled out the words: The Blue Book. It rang truer for me than much had recently. I reached for it and just as my hand was about to grasp the tome it collided with another hand. 

        “Oh sorry,” the owner of the other hand said. She had long black hair and milky white skin. Her dainty face curled up in a sheepish smile as we stared at one another.

        “No, it’s okay. You can take the book,” I said.

        “You got to it first.”

        “Only by a millisecond.”

        “Someone just had mentioned it to me. I was just curious.”

        “Nobody mentioned it to me. I was just drawn to the title.”

        She gestured toward the book which still sat unclaimed on the shelf. “I insist. If it’s meant to be I’m sure I’ll find it elsewhere.”

        We seemed to be caught in a polite statement. So I offered a way out. “Why don’t you tell me what’s it about. Maybe I won’t be interested.”

        “Oh it’s an old out of print book but its supposed to be very uplifting. It’s all about trusting we deserve love and happiness.”

         I tried to stifle a scoff but it came out as a snort. “I don’t feel very deserving of either of those things.”

        “Why not? You seem like a nice enough person.”

        “Let’s just say I’m a hard luck case.”

        “All the more reason you need the book.”

        “Why do you want it?”

        She shrugged. “Guess I’ve just had a hard time trusting in life lately.”

        “See you know life just knocks us down for shits and giggles.”

        She laughed and I had to smile because she did. “Seems we both need it. What’s your beef with life at the moment?” She asked. 

        “Chase after the wrong romantic partners for starters.”

        “You like your job?”

        “Yea, it’s alright.”

        “You’re one up on me then,” she giggled and again oddly I found myself smiling once more.

        “You get along with your family?” I asked.

        She smirked. “They’re alright.”

        “Then we’re even.” I also smirked as we both acknowledged the joke. “What do you do when not being miserable?” I inquired.

        “Something out doors usually. You like outdoorsy stuff?”

        I nodded my head and smiled. “Yea, nature’s alright.”

        She took a pen out of her purse and grabbed the book off the shelf. She flipped open the front cover and scribbled something I couldn’t quite make out. She closed it and thrusted it into my hands. “This was meant for you.”

        I furrowed my brow. “What about you?”

        “If you feel like it after reading it you can lend it to me.”

        “How will I find you?”

        She winked. “You will if it’s meant to be.” 

        I watched her walk out. After she disappeared in the street outside I glanced at the inside cover of the blue book in my hands. A phone number was written under the name Jessica. I looked back up at the front store window and shook my head. I went to put the book back on the shelf but my hand wouldn’t comply. Instead I made my way with it to the cashier.