New Neighbors

     Harry pulled onto his small town street as he sung along to the 90's mix blaring in his car. As he neared his destination he couldn't help but let out a groan at the sight of a moving truck parked in the driveway of the house next to his own. "New neighbors," he thought with cynicism. "Great. They better not be the nosy type who gets all up in everyone's business." Harry had liked having the house next door unoccupied. There were woods on the other side of him and in the back. It was about as secluded as you could get for modest suburbia. 

    He didn't like associating with people he didn't know. Harry believed you chose your friends not based on house adjacent circumstances. He pulled up to his own home and tried to keep his head low as he made his way from his car to the front door. "Hi there!" A shrill voice rang out just as he had put the key in the lock.

    Harry rolled his eyes. "I was so close," he said under his breath. He turned and saw a tall lean woman with short black hair waving at him, her mouth one big toothy smile. Behind her was a thick gentleman with rippling biceps, long shaggy hair and a beard to match. 

    "Looks like we're your new neighbors," said the woman cheerily. "I'm Wanda Werenkle and this is my husband Lenny."

    "Uh, hi, I'm Harry."

    "Have you lived here long?" Lenny asked.

    Harry shrugged. "Almost three years."

    "Is it a nice neighborhood?" Wanda then added, "Looks quite and peaceful." 

    "Yea, it's alright. Look I gotta hop on a zoom so..."

    Lenny held up his hand to acknowledge Harry's excuse. "Say no more."

    "We'll be seeing plenty of each other I'm sure," Wanda said. Harry forced a polite smile and then quickly ducked into his home.

    He tried to avoid his new neighbors the entire next week and was largely successful, except for a night when he had a bad blind date. It was his tenth lousy date in a row and he was so frustrated with his luck that he made the mistake of not checking to ensure the coast was clear before getting out of his car. 

    Lenny spotted him and introduced his cousin Tim who was in town visiting. "Just as long as kids don't show up," Harry thought as he made a flimsy excuse to dash into his house.

    Then one night not too long after that Harry was awoken by the sound of a wolf's howl. It was then followed by barking. "Someone obviously forgot to take their dog in for the night," Harry thought to himself bitterly as he turned over with the pillow around his ears. 

    As he tried to go back to sleep he heard a booming roar. He sat straight up in bed. "What the hell," he exclaimed. He then heard a screech. At first, he thought it was an owl but then he remembered owls were silent hunters. He heard the roar again and sprang out of his bed.

    He looked out the window but the street was deserted. He heard another howl. It came from the new neighbor's house but it appeared dark and empty. Harry then heard a horse neigh followed by the unmistakable oink of a pig. "They're keeping livestock in that house, now I got them," Harry said with elation. "I better confirm it. They'll obviously know it was me if I call the cops. If I'm wrong things will just get even more awkward."

    He put on his sneakers and though a hoodie over his head. He then stealthily crept over the property line and stood on some garbage cans to the side of the house in order to get a look through the window. He crinkled his brow as he peered inside. It looked empty. The only sign of activity was some faint light outlining a door.

    "You here for the party?" The voice caught Harry so off guard he fell off the trashcans. But the complete shock didn't settle in till he got a look at the source of the voice. Standing before Harry was what could only be described as a pig man. "Hi! I'm Paul. Come on the party is this way." The pig man walked so casually to the back of the house that Harry in his stupefied state could do nothing but follow. 

    Paul opened the storm doors around back and allowed Harry to walk into the basement. The sight that greeted Harry was incomprehensible. All over the basement were all sorts of animal-like humanoids mingling. "Is this a furry party?"

    "Ha!" Paul's belly shook with a boisterous chuckle. "Furries wish they were us. We are all weres, of course."

    "Weres?"

    A were-tiger walked up to Harry and enthusiastically said, "Hey Harry! I didn't know you were a were."

    "What? Do I know you?"

    "It's me Tim. Lenny introduced us." The smile faded from Tim's face. "Oh crap. You're not a were are you? I better get Wanda and Lenny." The were-tiger ran off.

    "What's going on here?" Harry mumbled.

    "It's a full moon. Duh," Paul said like Harry asked the stupidest question ever uttered.  He then pumped his hooves in the air and started oinking as he went to join the others. 

    A were-wolf and were-lion then came up to Harry with concern on their furry faces. "Harry!" The were-wolf exclaimed, "We were going to try and explain it to you but we could never get you to sit still for a conversation."

    "Wanda?" Harry turned to the were-lion. "Lenny?"

    "Please don't report us. We're not evil. We're just in touch with our wild side," Wanda explained.

    "You're telling me I'm living next to a were-wolf and a--?"

    "Were-lion," Lenny said finishing Harry's sentence for him.

    "I didn't even know there was such a thing as a were-lion."

    "Oh yea. There's were's for every creature. Flamingo, elephant, marmoset, you name it," said Wanda.

    "So you cool with this?" Lenny asked.

    "Am I cool with this?" Harry could no longer contain himself. "How do you expect me to be..." He trailed off when a beautiful woman walked by and met his eyes with her own. She licked her lips seductively using her serpentine tongue and then walked off giving Harry a wink. "Uh, whose that?"

    "Who? Her? That's Selena. She's a were-snake," Wanda answered.

    "Is she single?"

    "Yea. As far as I know," replied Lenny.

    Harry cocked his head to one side and shrugged. "Then I'm cool with it." He grabbed two beers from the cooler next to him and followed after Selena.