Coffee in the Afterlife

        In the town of Umberville, on the street of Pineapple Avenue, which ran through the East side, there was a tiny coffee house by the name of Perk Up. This particular coffee house was very small with only two square tables next to the counter. However, the establishment had been in business for over a hundred years. Since it first opened its doors, it had steadily built up a reputation for the finest cup of coffee in the entire state. People were always coming and going through those doors. The service was quick and kept things moving so everyone got what they needed to keep on going through their day.

        I was no different that morning. Granted it was a particularly brisk day and I was especially tired but otherwise I was just following my normal routine. Showered, shaved, and dressed I walked out my door and turned south. I walked the usual two blocks to Perk Up so I could get my normal pick me up, a large with a dollop of cream and a spoonful of sugar. 

        Perhaps I had overslept or maybe they were short staffed. For whatever reason, there was a rather long line that morning. I stood in the line and patiently waited to place my order. Now mind you, I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before so make of this what you will. I swear I must have rubbed my eyes a hundred times to ensure it wasn’t a sleep deprived illusion though. There at one of the tables sat Julius Caesar and Abraham Lincoln. They just sat casually, a cup of steaming coffee in front of each of them. They weren’t just a trick of the eyes either, they were also a trick of the ears.

        “I guess Leonardo isn’t coming”, I heard Julius grumble with disdain in his voice.

         Abraham shrugged in response. “You know he gets easily distracted.”

         “It’s rude.”

         “He’s not stopping you from drinking your coffee.”

         “I still say it’s rude.”

         “Get off your high horse. You Romans never brewed something as good as this coffee.”

         “Watch the dig against my people, Abe.”

         “We’re dead. Hard to threaten a dead man.”

         “There are still ways to kill a dead man. I could whisper into the ears of the living and besmirch your reputation.”

         “Once again I think you beat a dead horse. Wouldn’t you agree our legacies have been sufficiently trampled upon?”

         “That’s some gall. They put you on their money here in this land. They have holidays to commemorate your birth for crying out loud.”

         “They did the same for you in your time if I remember correctly.”

         “Exactly until history labeled me a tyrannical despot. You were more despot than me in your day.”

         “We were both leaders who did what we thought was right to preserve who we led.”

         “All I did was wage wars on the barbarians outside our borders. I tried to bring culture to them while securing the safety of the citizens of Rome. I was always lenient to all I fought, except the leaders of course.”

         “Until your faithful soldiers got fed up with your mercy and butchered everyone”, Abe said out the side of his mouth before he sipped at his coffee.

         “They wanted to go home. At least I didn’t take away the rights of my own citizens. I strove to remove the corrupt senators who served the wealthy aristocrats alone. I wanted to give the citizens of Rome back their rights from those who abused the powers of office.”

          “I did not abuse my power. I was going to give the people their rights back as soon as the war was over but we needed to win at all costs so the country could be mended.”

        “Yea, that really seemed to work out.” Julius rolled his eyes and slurped from his cup.

        “It would have worked had I not been shot. It was that ignorant stubborn fool Andrew that decreed punishment. We were both cut down so the world could go on in misery.”

         “I suppose it’s why we get along. Well, that and I’m a likable individual.” Julius beamed and downed the rest of his beverage before he continued. “You done? I want to get out of here before Alexander shows up. Can’t take another speech of his about how the common people are ignorant swine who must be controlled. Plus I got a tennis match with Genghis this afternoon and I want to practice beforehand. I can never seem to beat him.”

        “I’m fine going. I need to prepare for my date with Cleopatra, anyway.”

        “I’ve warned you, be careful with her.”

         I watched in disbelief as the two of them got up from their chairs and casually walked through the front door together. A shrill call of “next”, pierced my ears and knocked me out of my stupor. As I walked up to the counter to order I remained fixated on the table that was occupied by two historic figures just moments earlier.

        At the door with coffee in hand I took one last look over my shoulder at the quaint shop. I shrugged and as I opened the door to leave I decided to head to bed early tonight.