A Typical Morning

       I saw the vultures in the morning mist. They stood on the grass, wings spread, trying to melt the ice which kept them from taking flight in the heavens above. I kicked a solitary stick that lay on the sidewalk as I made my way to the entrance of the darkened building to start my work day. The familiar click greeted my eardrums as the door granted me access to my tedious daily affairs. Without any noticeable conscious thought I disarmed the alarm and began turning on the lights. 

        In the new illumination that flooded the corridors an unfamiliar sight sprang me out of my robotic movements. There in the middle of the floor was a glue trap. Its tented cardboard hid its contents but its mysterious relocation from the corner against the wall already told me what I would find. When I bent down and peered inside, two shiny black pebbles met mine. A twitch of the whiskers let me know the rodent still lived, despite being completely immobilized by the adhesive. We stared at one another, both frozen in time and space. 

        The means may have been different but we found ourselves stuck. The rat stuck by a chemical compound. I, myself stuck by a compound of circumstances, a choice here, a missed opportunity there. Life had led each of us to a point that felt utterly futile. The empathy between us burned like an acid. An acid unable to free either of us but a burning acid none the less.

        I straightened and marched to the shed out back. I grabbed hold of a shovel and strode back to the glue trap. A moment of guilt came over me but I pushed it down just as quickly as it had risen up. I scooped up the trap with the shovel and carried it out back to the woods. I laid the sticky cardboard on the cold unforgiving earth, raised the shovel and froze like a statue carved in marble. My jaw tensed to stifle my guttural cry. The shovel fell on the trap. The sound of impact ricocheted off the trees shattering the silence of the waking day. Again and again the shovel smashed the ground till my arms ached. 

        I stood there for a long drag of time catching my breath with the morning chill against my flushed cheeks. Finally, I drove the shovel into the ground, scraped the bloody piece of pulverized cardboard into the hole and piled dirt on top. I gave it a firm pat with the shovel and walked back to the building to start my useless day. Right before I went inside I happened to notice the vultures had taken flight. They circled above. I wondered if they circled for the rat or for me. 

The Adventures of Superdude

        Superdude flew over the city that night on his normal patrol. Suddenly he heard a scream from the streets below. Quickly he dove into action. In an alleyway, he saw a burly figure running with a purple handbag clutched tight to his side.

        “Stop in the name of truth, justice and dudeliness!” Superdude quickly blocked the mugger’s path. The crook skidded to a halt and immediately did an about-face. Before the criminal could get away Superdude had grabbed him and lifted him off the ground. 

        “Let me go!”

        Superdude chuckled. “You should know better than to commit crime in my city.”

        A voice came from the shadows. “And you should know better then to be lured into a trap.” Dr. Diabolical revealed himself. In his hands he held a strange contraption. Before Superdude could react a metal band shot out of the device and wrapped around the superhero’s neck. Superdude dropped the mugger who proceeded to run off leaving the stolen purse behind. 

         The heroic Superdude tried to break the collar but as he pried he suddenly felt very weak. It only took him a moment to realize what the studs on the collar were made out of. 

        “Buzzkillnite!”

        “Yes,” sneered Dr. Diabolical. “Soon you will be completely immobilized. I will enjoy watching you wither and die.”

        Superdude collapsed to the ground in a heap. It was hopeless, he could barely clench a fist let alone break the collar. 

        “Please, continue to struggle. It makes my triumph so much more enjoyable. I have longed—,” Dr. Diabolical suddenly broke off his rant and let out a scream. “A rat!” He cried as he pointed at the rodent which had wandered into the alley. “Get it away. They’re disease ridden things.”

        “A little too weak at the moment,” Superdude gasped.

        The rat moved closer to Dr. Diabolical and he jumped backwards and threw the device he still had at the small mammal. However, the projectile missed its intended target and the rat once more advanced toward the frightened villain. 

        Dr. Diabolical let out another scream. “Stay away!” The rat only moved with more rapid speed toward the evil genius. The arch foe was left with no choice but to turn and high tail it out of the alley as fast as he could. 

        The rodent then turned as well and scampered over to Superdude who still writhed on the ground in an attempt to stay conscious. The rat proceeded to chew off a piece of the Buzzkillnite from the collar. The small furry creature then carried it in his mouth over to a nearby sewer grate and dropped it in. The rat repeated this process with the remaining pieces of Buzzkillnite. Slowly but surely Superdude regained his strength and shattered the collar.

         “Thank you little fella, you saved me.” Superdude held out his hand to the rat who proceeded to scurry up the arm, until he was perched on Superdude’s shoulder. “You’re my new sidekick. Now what to call you? Maybe Mighty Mouse?” Superdude shook his head back and forth. “No, that sounds silly. How about Ratdude?”

        The  rodent stood on his hind legs and let out a squeak of approval. 

        “Evildoers beware because this city is now under the protection of Superdude and Ratdude,” the hero declared. With that Superdude took to the air with his new partner in crime fighting. 

Coffee in the Afterlife

        In the town of Umberville, on the street of Pineapple Avenue, which ran through the East side, there was a tiny coffee house by the name of Perk Up. This particular coffee house was very small with only two square tables next to the counter. However, the establishment had been in business for over a hundred years. Since it first opened its doors, it had steadily built up a reputation for the finest cup of coffee in the entire state. People were always coming and going through those doors. The service was quick and kept things moving so everyone got what they needed to keep on going through their day.

        I was no different that morning. Granted it was a particularly brisk day and I was especially tired but otherwise I was just following my normal routine. Showered, shaved, and dressed I walked out my door and turned south. I walked the usual two blocks to Perk Up so I could get my normal pick me up, a large with a dollop of cream and a spoonful of sugar. 

        Perhaps I had overslept or maybe they were short staffed. For whatever reason, there was a rather long line that morning. I stood in the line and patiently waited to place my order. Now mind you, I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before so make of this what you will. I swear I must have rubbed my eyes a hundred times to ensure it wasn’t a sleep deprived illusion though. There at one of the tables sat Julius Caesar and Abraham Lincoln. They just sat casually, a cup of steaming coffee in front of each of them. They weren’t just a trick of the eyes either, they were also a trick of the ears.

        “I guess Leonardo isn’t coming”, I heard Julius grumble with disdain in his voice.

         Abraham shrugged in response. “You know he gets easily distracted.”

         “It’s rude.”

         “He’s not stopping you from drinking your coffee.”

         “I still say it’s rude.”

         “Get off your high horse. You Romans never brewed something as good as this coffee.”

         “Watch the dig against my people, Abe.”

         “We’re dead. Hard to threaten a dead man.”

         “There are still ways to kill a dead man. I could whisper into the ears of the living and besmirch your reputation.”

         “Once again I think you beat a dead horse. Wouldn’t you agree our legacies have been sufficiently trampled upon?”

         “That’s some gall. They put you on their money here in this land. They have holidays to commemorate your birth for crying out loud.”

         “They did the same for you in your time if I remember correctly.”

         “Exactly until history labeled me a tyrannical despot. You were more despot than me in your day.”

         “We were both leaders who did what we thought was right to preserve who we led.”

         “All I did was wage wars on the barbarians outside our borders. I tried to bring culture to them while securing the safety of the citizens of Rome. I was always lenient to all I fought, except the leaders of course.”

         “Until your faithful soldiers got fed up with your mercy and butchered everyone”, Abe said out the side of his mouth before he sipped at his coffee.

         “They wanted to go home. At least I didn’t take away the rights of my own citizens. I strove to remove the corrupt senators who served the wealthy aristocrats alone. I wanted to give the citizens of Rome back their rights from those who abused the powers of office.”

          “I did not abuse my power. I was going to give the people their rights back as soon as the war was over but we needed to win at all costs so the country could be mended.”

        “Yea, that really seemed to work out.” Julius rolled his eyes and slurped from his cup.

        “It would have worked had I not been shot. It was that ignorant stubborn fool Andrew that decreed punishment. We were both cut down so the world could go on in misery.”

         “I suppose it’s why we get along. Well, that and I’m a likable individual.” Julius beamed and downed the rest of his beverage before he continued. “You done? I want to get out of here before Alexander shows up. Can’t take another speech of his about how the common people are ignorant swine who must be controlled. Plus I got a tennis match with Genghis this afternoon and I want to practice beforehand. I can never seem to beat him.”

        “I’m fine going. I need to prepare for my date with Cleopatra, anyway.”

        “I’ve warned you, be careful with her.”

         I watched in disbelief as the two of them got up from their chairs and casually walked through the front door together. A shrill call of “next”, pierced my ears and knocked me out of my stupor. As I walked up to the counter to order I remained fixated on the table that was occupied by two historic figures just moments earlier.

        At the door with coffee in hand I took one last look over my shoulder at the quaint shop. I shrugged and as I opened the door to leave I decided to head to bed early tonight.